What would the "saltbae" command do, if you could make it do anything?

I have this sense that Linux is missing out on the Saltbae machismo that it deserves.

If there were a linux CLI tool called “saltbae”, what would it do?

It would be something vaguely suggestive of this:

saltbae

Or maybe it could be a plymouth theme, seen at boot time, before x.org of wayland loads?

It plays this in your terminal while it salts, then hashes any passwords you feed it.

sIEHYEAEmMAwOEMEGEADHIAL8CQfGOcAdBoTFIAB+JkIHUAHdzAQlAGoMoFop6GCQkawHi0Cf6hHivLCVkUEWJ3D1g6Eol5uAGTuQIwBGx3AC5Ak2sKGfpirNjCAGO.SD7koENpSnTHiDNHRxTlhCLVwWOFSDFsMGOVxDi30DRQ0MOJhgFMvxFt+vRBSD9M3xhimDFl2DMYDiQRpDDKSAeHmDmt2nE0uDFtEDNCgDMebxI0PyPwQEADs=

Another thought is an alternative form of “progress bar”, say on a wget or curl download, which shows the salt being dropped at a rate corresponding to 20% downloaded, 40%, 60%, 80%, 100% (all the salt is dropped).